Mokgadi Joyce Matjuda
I am just listening to Pastor Shirley Ceasar song, titled "I Remember Mama". Well, I can't really say how I remember my mother since I did not grow under her tutelage from my young age. My mother and dad separated unofficially while I was still young. Unofficially because they never divorced legally, just a fed up, I can't take your abuse any longer or family interference. I never really got to hear the whole story until today as to what exactly happened. Poor me, I also never bothered to ask what actually happened. But the bits and pieces of information that was dumped on me during the angry moments of my mother attest that it was a horrible spell she endured - married. With the information coming forward two causes of the separation stands out; Family Interference and Abuse (physical and emotional). This article is not really about that story but one of the good days I will tell the full story of what I remember.
- While I was still young she was working in Johannesburg as a domestic worker, and she is still working there today. I remember her bringing Christmas clothing. It was an exciting time and moment. I would wear them and quickly make them dirty because I did not want to wear something beautiful. I thought I didn't deserve anything beautiful. I want to wear it but it must not be new, if it is, it attracts attention. Everytime it was December and Good Friday, she will bring clothes. Only now when I cast my mind back I remember that some of the clothes were not new, they used to belong to the children of her bosses and when they do not want them any longer she would keep them for us. Anything that came from Makgoweng (White people from Johannesburg) was simply beauty and the best. Those were the days, my Mama really made those events memorable and I always looked forward for new clothes, shoes or toys. Even though some were slightly bigger, rope will be used to tie them and life continues.
- She also used to buy confectionaries, she likes them even now, I also like them till now. Since I only used to eat bread, drink coke and or eat chicken or meat once a month or sometimes three to four times a year. When she comes back from Makgoweng to visit. She will come back stocked with sweets staff and I will indulge until I get sick sometimes. I will shine, and feel like I am on top of the world. It felt proud to have had a Mother who used to work and could bring us nice things to boast about to our friends. Even though it was once in a while it was sweet and lasting.
- One of the things she used to do, is to give us money - in those days R5 was a lot of money, and she would give me to spend at school. I would cherish, protect, defend and boast about it for a long time. This trends continued until my early teenage years when I can realise the distance. Importantly though, there was a memory of her involvement in my life.
- In those days, a car was luxury, the same as bread, coke and other confectionaries, only those that can I afford will eat them on a daily basis. I remember her asking her brother to take us with a car (back to where we stayed with our Father) after spending the day or weekend with her. It was a moment of heaven on earth because we hardly ever been in a car. I will really relish the moment.
- While I was in Tertiary, Tshwane University of Technology (TUT), she contributed immensely to clothes (not new - used from her bosses), she also used to ask for some advance, for settling part of my fees and studies - especially our regular excursions that we used to embark on, as a Nature Conservation students. She will also ask her employers to buy me books, I remember the Mammals of Southern Africa, Trees of Southern Africa and Ecology (I still have the books even today). I think because they understood the role of education, they obliged. I do Remember Mama in a Happy Way And Love Her Stacks.
- I still remember her shouting, reprimand, her words of inspiration, encouragement, strengthening and empowering. She really shaped and made me. She was hurt that she couldn't really raise us the way she would have liked to but she did her best under the circumstances.
The above is the sad tale of many families that were dysfunctional, in any circumstances, mothers became the protagonists of the families. They stood the ground, they held their head high. They made sure there is food on the table. They interceded daily, at the midnight hour, they became like Henna, poured their heart to the Lord and He heard their cry, answered them and give them peace of mind. Today we are the many products of the dysfunctionality. But as the Lord promised during our birth, I shall never leave nor forsake you. You are my child and I have a plan for you.
I know this is dedication to my mother who gave birth to me and my siblings. However, during her absence, which was not by choice but circumstance. A great woman took care of me, for many years. Her name is Apholo Mapela Matjutla. When I think about her I really shed a tear and become emotional. She passed on in 2006. She was super special, she literally became my second mother. I will post her tribute in her death anniversary but I also do remember her on this Mother's Day. This is how I Remember My Mother/s…and How Do You Remember Your Mother. Very Special Happy Mother's Day to All The Mothers including the Mother of My Child Selemeng Matjuda (BK will pay tribute to you one day). And I dearly I Love them
HAPPPPPPPPYYYYYYY MOTHERS DAY…
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