Cheating!!!

Women cheat because they are mentally attracted and men cheat because they are sexually attracted. This is an exhausted topic, but still sits at the very heart of our daily living. It's one of the things that happen more often than imagined. Ideally we would not like it to happen, but in reality it just happens. Some people can't help it, some its intentional, some deliberate, some its weaknesses, some its lust, some its attractions, some is lack of attention from partner or spouse, some it's part of growth, some is a stage, some is alcohol or stress driven and others no reason at all. Whatever the case may be, the fact remains, it happens and it will continue to happen beyond our lifetime.

When I was young, before I was involved, I never used to understand and was merciless, didn't want to tolerate anything. I had written down my relationship constitution and if contravened - red card. But today cheating has become so complicated that it needs to be defined within each and every relationship. Each relationship should define what is cheating, unlike in the early days cheating used to have a universal definition. It's very interesting the world we are living in. This is not a bad thing though. It actually empowers the couple to own their relationship, other than to manage it within the universal context and rules. The same with marriage, managing this according to universal laws is suicidal. For long we have done things that we never really understood because they were passed onto us and we just adopted them without understanding the origin and context. One heritage specialist said, culture and heritage is a human imprint on the landscape or lifestyle. Individualising this - to invent/imprint a new culture on the current lifestyle. A culture that we will have control over, other than adopting other peoples way of living and ideology. We are sometimes too concerned about other people's opinion, that they define things for us. While it is not that bad, and should happen. It should not be the law or commandment that cannot be broken. Go ahead and define what is cheating in the context of your union or relationship. Both of you need to know what's the definition - so that nobody is found wanting.

Let's have a look at the statement, women cheat because of mental attraction: I should point out that it is not all women that do this. Women are attracted by the mental stimulation - psychologically and intellectually. The invisible, unknown and unseen. However, research has shown many times that women are generally emotional beings. Hence when one connects with a woman, you need to do it on an emotional level. If you win that, they are likely to open up, and one is likely to get many other things. It takes a while to romance a woman properly unless if they fall under the 10% that do not need emotional connection before opening up. However, of the 10% that do not need connection, afterwards, after the deed, they also tend to develop the need - connection. The need is developed on a different level than with their real partner or those that they cheated on, if any. After the deed/s, the event is likely to become a regular until a strong disagreement occurs, or an event that may jeopardise the main relationship, if in one. If not, the meetings will continue. If in one, then they may cut it off gradually or fix it. I must say though that there is a new breed of women - unpredictable. They have invalidated popular beliefs.

Men are attracted by the visual, they are stimulated by what they see - physiological. Then they want to fulfil their desire instantly. Well some men know exactly what makes women weak, and target those spots. Make love to her mentally (mind), they say. Men are able to use the traditional method of proposing to a woman while they know that the aim is to sleep with her and leave afterwards. They don't mind waiting for 6 months and sometimes a year to get that one thing and leave. Strange though. It is even easier if they are not interested. They can prolong it as much as it takes. While in the other hand, the poor woman is developing the emotional connection thinking that this thing will go somewhere. Not knowing that, it is not about to take off. Most men are perfidious. Men are able to easily shuffle two to three women at any particular time. Why, because there is no emotional connection. In juggling, they still do everything right in her books. Especially the players, are quite good. They know what to say, and how to say it. Even sometimes play the emotional connection game. Men know very well that women, all levels, age, race and colour loves attention - compliment and sing her tune, then you are in. Or sometimes ignore purposeful, then the attention is given to him.

Both men and women like the element of danger in their lives, always doing something under wraps to different levels. Sometimes it's purely getting attracted to someone you are not supposed to and can't help it. By the way attractions can be managed, because they are likely to happen as long as we live. I must warn though that cheating has serious consequences to atleast one person. Your behaviour is covered in one of the above though it may not be exact. The topic is huge and I will continue to cover aspects of it.