Why Do We Always Have To Prove Our Capabilities At Our Work Places

I came a long way, spent many sleepless nights preparing for work, for the following day. I worked overtime, thinking to myself I am impressing my bosses. However, everything seems far-fetched. It looked as if I am not penetrating even the mere surface. Despite the qualifications one holds, one still needs to show capability to do work excellently. It is a known fact that qualifications does not equal good workmanship and industriousness. Many of us, Africans, needs to always do extra to prove our value and worth, especially the work place that is characterised by white people in top management positions. We never seems to do enough to a certain extent. Well, I am a testimony of that. The experience is not sweet and wonderful, it feels like a personal attack more than anything.

I used work for one organisation, I was in a steering committee, and happen to be the only black person. I must admit that I was a bit naïve then. But what boggled my mind was the fact that any suggestions from me never seemed to hold any value. I just kept on suggesting. Then, I could not really read between the lines. I just accepted everything as the norm. But I still soldiered on - unconsciously proving my worth. I remember an event, where one of my steering committee member asking me why was I always quite. I was not even aware of that. In retrospect, I think I was selected to be the only darkie, representing the views of many black people out there. Guess what kind of projects I used get? Those based in Khayelitsha and Bluedowns, mainly poor coloured and black areas.

Fast track to recent events, after 12 years of work experience, I still have to prove myself. I have to double my effort. I obliged as well, I wanted to be every-where - to be visible. I used to be competitive. Also put in lot of work hours - overtime. Never wanted to take leave, thinking I am missing a lot. Always at work, while my other supervisory peers enjoyed being off and when they get back, their work is waiting for them. I thought being off is a sin, and if I am not at work my competitors will do/take my work and displace me, move me deeper into the abyss of non-recognition and anonymity.

In addition, in some of the high level meetings I attended, my suggestions were still not considered valid. There are certain people if they suggest something, it's considered the true solution (music to everybody's ears). Presently if this happens I show strong disapproval and make it known that it is not supposed to be like that. I reason, lay down the facts, sometimes in silent - to let them know that its incorrect practice. There is no need to appease anybody any-longer. If I deserve something I will get it. At times I face purposeful exclusion, but one got to face it and overcome it by simply focusing on your work and do it to your best of ability.

However, sometimes last year 2013 (when I started with my Msc. Proj Man), somehow a light bulb moment occurred. I just felt an overwhelming transformation internally. I never really cared about high level meetings, I could take off, and when I come back work will still  be waiting for me. What was revealed though is that the more I distanced myself and cared less, at times purposeful, but most times genuinely, the more I was needed & wanted. It is happening even now. I can skip a meeting, and the meeting will come to me the following day. Or the project won't move until my inputs are provided. While in the early days, or just the other year 2012. They will move on, and never consider my input - my other supervisory peer could have been asked to provide input on my behalf. It is a tough road I travelled, and I know I am not alone. Many of us are facing it. There are things that we need to do though to get to where I am currently. I will share with you in the second part of the post. I know that I have provided one side of the story. I know at times I needed to go through certain gruelling times so that I can develop the mettle. But sadly most of us face the above situations, and we remain in gloomy, unhappy, stressful and at times depressing work place. Not because we don't know but simply because we are black. 

Before I conclude I would like to quote Lerato Mbele, who attested the very same sentiments (in February 2014 Destiny Magazine Issue) but have now calmed down. See below.